the trials and tribulations of a pro retail trader

two weeks ago, at the start of the month, i decided to press the “day one” button for the year. the first six months of the year for me have been turbulent, to say the least, with house renovations and family getting in the way of trading.

i haven’t felt like myself either all year. it’s been really odd getting used to being a dad , and each week has been a bit of a task to just keep my head straight whilst balancing so many other things.

trading has had to take a back seat and thankfully i was conscious of the distractions earlier on in the year and parked it completely so that my accounts didn’t suffer. it was a bit of a bumpy return too and a whole host of things came together at once to tell me it still wasn’t time.

so i took june off of trading but did watch the markets without acting on anything, which was an exercise in itself, but i’d completely checked myself out of it. i needed to.

the beginning of july felt right, and i feel a lot more like myself going into it, though not 100%. slowly getting there.

my trading since last monday has been a tiny bit down (-0.2r) but where i couldn’t even get a live winning trade in may, i’ve had a few in the past fortnight to bring me to thinking "oh i can still do this after all”. believe me, i was questioning my ability a lot come the end of may for the first time in about 4 years.

it started off with a thought of “here we go again” though when longing a top:

gbpusd m1 - july 1

and a further two small losses that day, before putting things right the next day:

gbpusd m1 - july 2

there was a bit of luck from some news driven price action which pushed things down (and a lot further down after i got out) very quickly, but it was 2.5r and set me back to positive energy with my trading.

since then, things have been a bit topsy turvy:

july 9 was a particularly bad day with way too many trades, owing to a poor mindset having to rush my car to the garage and back in the morning before trading, unsettling my usual routine. lesson in that :)

the next day, a couple of small wins, with this being an unlucky one getting tagged out on a trailing stop before further downside:

gbpusd july 10

i’ve got something in my brain, which will probably only make sense to me now that i’m coming to type it. i live each day with a feeling that one day things will click and life will be where i want it to be. it’s a positive feeling. i know i’m going that way. it drives much of what i do.

but i forget too much that you can have the power to change everything today, through taking the right risk and managing it properly. sometimes luck will be on your side and sometimes it won’t. but the most important thing is that you’re conscious each day of your rules and the scars you carry from wounds suffered whilst writing them out.

don’t worry about some far off away place in the future that you’re working towards. just be mindful of doing the right thing today. anything you want in the future, really starts with your decision today.

and on that note:

my bitcoin trade on h4 is looking pretty good for about 5r.